This is a seventh draft (earlier drafts went back
to 1994), the second rewrite of a sixth draft, and is pretty much the basis of the 2002 version of
Closetspace. This script differs quite a bit from earlier drafts of
Closetspace as the sixth draft was completely rewritten from scratch.
While some scenes exist, others were completely rewritten and others
Many scenes were moved around, most
were greatly expanded. Dad was named Jack, Mother had been named
Molly. The Dad/Carrie confrontation is now Carrie-driven.
Unfortunately, while writing this draft, I moved to Pennsylvania and forgot
about it until June of 1997, when I began work on it again. Once we were
laid off, I left the draft unfinished. Material significantly changed or
added to this draft from the 5th Draft is in bolded font.
Written by Jennifer Dolari with Dov Sherman.
Drawn by Jennifer Dolari
(c) 1997 Jennifer Dolari
PAGE 1 - EXTERIOR - PARK - DAY
PANEL 1 - An OLD MAN cranks an antique Gramophone in the park, but
instead of an old vinyl record playing an even older ragtime number,
there is an enclosed CD playing loudly through the large funnel
PANEL 2 - The Old Man looks up over to two older women, WOMAN 1 and
WOMAN 2, feeding pigeons in front of a statue spewing water high into
the air. Woman 1 is slim and short haired, Woman 2 is a bit bulkier,
with longer wavy hair. The two look very content, but are also a bit
stiff, as if they have been waiting too long in the cold wind for
someone. Snow gently drifts down from above.
PANEL 3 - The Old Man smiles to himself, happy at seeing such fine
"young" women on exhibit in the park. The ragtime music continues to
play from his CD/Gramophone.
PANEL 4 - Woman 2, turns to talk to Woman 1, who continues to feed
the pigeons absentmindedly.
It's been over an hour...she's
not coming, is she?
PANEL 5 - Woman 1 turns to face Woman 2 with a look of surprise.
PAGE 2 - EXTERIOR - PARK - DAY (CONT.)
PANEL 6 - Woman 1 goes back to feeding the pigeons. In the
background, a hover car flies past.
It's too cold for me to be
PANEL 7 - The old man looks up as WOMAN 3 runs into the frame. She's
about the same age as Woman 1 and Woman 2, somewhat short, with
straight as an arrow hair, wearing very dark clothes and a necklace
consisting of a talon holding a black obsidian ball. She's very happy
over the notebook held under her arm. Woman 1 seems very happy to see
PANEL 8 - Woman 1 jumps up, hugging Woman 3 with all her might, Woman
2 simply looks up with a slight smile.
PANEL 9 - Woman 1, held almost romantically by Woman 3, looks
expectantly up at Woman 3.
PANEL 10 - Woman 3, kissing Woman 2, blindly drops the notebook into
Woman 2's unexpecting hands.
PAGE 3 - EXTERIOR - PARK - DAY (CONT.)
PANEL 11 - Woman 2 opens the book and is happily surprised by what
she sees. Woman 3 is still holding Woman 1, who is nuzzling her neck.
My god! You found it!
PANEL 12 - Woman 3 sits next to Woman 2 as Woman 1 clings lovingly to
to Woman 1)
Not really...she made sure I had
doubles of all your old prints.
So when you lost them, I always
...I simply never bothered to
look for them until it was too
PANEL 13 - The book is open to the first page, on it is a picture of
CARRIE, a young shapely woman with short light reddish hair in a
respectful "cheesecake" shot.
PANEL 14 - Woman 1 looks into the picture book with a slight smile.
PAGE 4 - INTERIOR - BEDROOM - DAY
PANEL 15 - Inside of a stark white room, with boxes strewn around,
sits AMY, a slightly chunky young alternative/goth girl with shoulder
length straight hair. She's supremely pissed at her roommate,
ALLISON, who is standing behind her, obviously worried about her
Was it something I said?
Something I did?
PANEL 16 - Amy tries her best to talk calmly and regain her composure
as she turns around to talk to Allison. She keeps her eyes closed,
afraid that even SEEING her would cause her to fly into a rage again.
You should be a little more
honest with your roommates.
Honest? What haven't I been
PAGE 4 (CONT.) - EXTERIOR - OUTSIDE OF HOUSE - DAY
PANEL 17 - The outside of Allison's shared household is a somewhat
plain two story building, typical of the kind found in Suburbia USA.
In the driveway as a red convertible, with it's top down and boxes
littering the backseat and trunk. Amy is putting another box into the
backseat as Allison looks out to her from the front patio.
It means I've found your
PANEL 18 - Amy turns to face Allison who is halfway to her car.
...and now I know who you are.
PANEL 19 - As Amy turns back to her car, Allison looks down in shame.
PAGE 5 - EXTERIOR - OUTSIDE OF HOUSE - DAY (CONT.)
PANEL 20 - Amy looks up, shocked as Allison puts her hand on Amy's
shoulder. Allison looks up again, past Amy's shoulder,
If you'd just let me explain. I
think we'd be able to--
PANEL 21 - Amy swivels around, slapping Allison hard.
DON'T TOUCH ME!
PANEL 22 - Amy turns back to her car, grabbing her keys.
I'll come back to get the rest
of my stuff as soon as I can
stomach the idea of ever seeing
PANEL 23 - Allison watches Amy peel out of her driveway. Allison is
far away, worried and pensive all at once.
PANEL 24 - CLOSE UP of Allison's worried face.
And rent's due in a week....
PAGE 6 - EXTERIOR - ANOTHER HOUSE - DAY
PANEL 25 - Looking down at a modest suburban two story house, we see
a family station wagon beginning to pull into the driveway. In one of
the windows we see a young fifteen year old girl, BECKY, bending over
Here, try a little of this...
PAGE 6 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - BECKY'S ROOM - DAY
PANEL 26 - Becky and CARRIE, who is wearing the same outfit as in the
picture, are staring into a mirror connected to a desk splayed with
cosmetics. As Carrie tries on a shade of lipstick, Becky looks at
Carrie's reflection with an artist's eye.
I don't know...that shade looks
a little too purple for your
PANEL 27 - As Becky turns to Carrie to check her makeup, the window
behind them shows the station wagon parking in the driveway
Purple? There's purple in this?
You men...you can't see any
colors at all, can you?
PANEL 28 - Becky "poinks" the tip of Carrie's nose with a jabbing
finger. Her other hand is reaching for a camera on a nearby
Even the ones who like dressing
PANEL 29 - Carrie looks back into the mirror, finishing up her
lipstick with a different color.
Cut me some slack, Sis. At least
I'm trying to DO something with
PAGE 6 (CONT.) - EXTERIOR - DRIVEWAY OF CARRIE'S HOUSE - DAY
PANEL 30 - DAD, a strong burly man with short cropped hair gets out
of his car. A strong military man, he stiffly gets out of his car,
with the straightest posture known to man, holding a toolchest of
immense proportions in his right hand, and a bucket of "Grandma's
Fried Chicken" and a gallon of Ice Cream in his left. Staring up at
Becky's window, he sees his lovely daughter. He smiles proudly at
Well then, you'll need to learn
more than color co-ordination
and makeup. PAGE 7 - INTERIOR - BECKY'S ROOM - DAY
PANEL 31 - Becky is now holding out the camera, waiting to take a
picture of her "sister." Becky looks a little unsure about this whole
predicament and the uneasiness is vaguely showing on her face. Her
words are wavering and unsure
So...you're as good as I can
You sure you wanna do this?
PANEL 32 - Carrie is impatient, she's been waiting for this picture a
Yes! Yes! YES!
PANEL 33 - Carrie through the viewfinder of the camera.
PANEL 34 - This panel takes up the rest of the page. This is the
picture from PANEL 13, expanded out to fill the frame.
PAGE 7 - INTERIOR - KITCHEN OF CARRIE'S HOUSE - DAY
PANEL 35 - Dad happily kicks the door closed, causing a loud bang and
some pottery to fall to the floor, shattering.
PAGE 7 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - BECKY'S ROOM - DAY
PANEL 36 - Carrie and Becky hear the loud crash and look towards
their own closed door in surprise.
BECKY AND CARRIE
PAGE 8 - INTERIOR - BECKY'S ROOM - DAY (CONT.)
PANEL 37 - Becky bolts up as Carrie slowly rises. She seems to be
thinking something over, as if it's time to get something off her
chest to her family. Becky, however, is busy trying to save Carrie's
Jason, get that crap off your
face before Dad sees you!
Becky...maybe I should tell them.
PANEL 38 - Dad puts down the bucket of Grandma's Chicken on the
kitchen table...he's got a warm smile for such a huge Herculean man.
ARE YOU NUTS?!
(loud and proud)
PAGE 8 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE OF BECKY'S ROOM - DAY
PANEL 39 - Becky's head is popping out of Carrie's door with an
extremely fake smile plastered on it.
Be right there, Dad!
PAGE 8 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - BECKY'S ROOM - DAY
PANEL 40 - Carrie looks in the mirror despondently as Becky tries to
ramrod some sense into her. Becky is almost downright angry at her
for even thinking such a thing as telling Dad.
No, really, Sis. I think it's
time I told Mom and Dad.
You do that and we'll BOTH get
in trouble, and you know that.
PANEL 41 - Dad comes lumbering up the stairs to his kids bedroom.
He's holding a gallon of Tin Roof Ice cream in one hand.
BECKERS! SON! GOT SOMETHIN' FOR
PAGE 9 - INTERIOR - BECKY'S ROOM - DAY
PANEL 42 - Becky tears back for the door, talking down to Carrie.
You just get the hell outta that
outfit and say "Hi" to Dad, or
he'll get suspicious.
PANEL 43 - Carrie, worried, thinks over the proposition.
PAGE 9 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE OF BECKY'S ROOM - DAY
PANEL 44 - Becky runs towards dad down the hallway, arms outstretched
like a five year old.
PANEL 45 - The Ex-Marine picks up his daughter with one hand,
propping her on his shoulder like she was only a five pound sack of
How was your day, Daddy?
My day? Well...
PAGE 10 - EXTERIOR - EMPTY CLEARING IN THE WOODS - DAY
PANEL 46 - A group of local Veterans of Foreign War members stand
around the foundations of a clubhouse ready for building. The members
are ad-libbing "...where's Jack?" "He's got all our materials!" and
PANEL 47 - A particularly OLDER MAN, wearing a cap embroidered with
the Vietnam Duty Ribbon points of in the distance. To him , it's as
if Superman has come over the ridge.
PAGE 10 (CONT.) - EXTERIOR - HILLTOP NEAR CLEARING - DAY
PANEL 48 - Dad (Jack) stands triumphantly up the hill, with a
stackload of wood held under each of his arms. He stands before them
a superhuman warrior, with the entire sky replaced with Old Glory
PAGE 10 (CONT.) - EXTERIOR - CLEARING IN THE WOODS - DAY
PANEL 49 - With ungodly speed, Dad runs into the clearing, leaving a
speed streak behind him.
PANEL 50 - There is now a "cloud" of dust among the mob as Dad works
on the new hall.
PAGE 11 - EXTERIOR - CLEARING IN THE WOODS - DAY
PANEL 51 - As the dust clears, Dad stands in front of the new hall,
doing an American Gladiator's pose. The hall is exquisite, finely
detailed in architecture Frank Lloyd Wright would be jealous of, and
is topped off with a large "Legion of Foreign Wars #322" sign
PANEL 52 - The Older Man and the throng behind him raise their hands,
fists, crutches, and flags in a cheer to the new hall and Dad.
PANEL 53 - Dad holds the door to the new hall open and ushers the
PAGE 11 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE OF BECKY'S ROOM.
PANEL 54 - Becky, still sitting on her father's huge shoulder, looks
skeptical as Dad finishes his story
And THAT is how today went.
Now let's go get your brother.
PANEL 55 - Becky looks worried as her jovial father reaches for the
door to Becky's room.
In here, Dad....
PANEL 56 - Becky and Dad both look shocked at the sight they see in
PANEL 57 - Carrie is still deep in thought, and mutters a meek...
Hello, Dad... PAGE 12 - INTERIOR - NEWSPAPER EDITOR'S OFFICE - DAY
PANEL 58 - A large burly man dressed in a button down shirt with it's
sleeves pulled up, and a poker visor over his face. He is a
quintessential NEWSPAPER EDITOR and he's taking a call for an ad. He
seems to be concentrating hard, as if the newspaper presses in the
background a bit too loud for him to hear effectively.
So, that's "Single White Female,
seeks Single White Male for
roommate to share heating vents?
Needs one months tent trumped
Sorry lady, we're a family
PAGE 12 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - ALLISON'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
PANEL 59 - Allison, with a resigned look on her face, as if swatting
flies from her face that never seem to go away, is arguing with the
Editor. It seems to be a losing battle.
No! They're both female...
PANEL 60 - Allison leans back in her chair. According to her
expression, the battle is turning her way.
Right...no..."ROOM and RENT!"
That's "one month's rent up
PAGE 12 (CONT.) - INTERIOR - NEWSPAPER EDITOR'S OFFICE
PANEL 61 - The Newspaper Editor no longer seems to be paying any
attention to Allison on the other end, but is reading tomorrow's
headlines. The headline on the paper reads "Drug Use on Rise."
Okay, that'll be $100 for two
Charge it to your account?
PANEL 62 - The Editor swivels around to an old dilapidated computer
screen, pulling up an even more ancient database.
Oh, you're that lady who runs
all them interior decorating
Okay, it's been charged...you
know you've got quite a bill
charged up here already...
PAGE 13 - INTERIOR - ALLISON'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
PANEL 63 - Allison looks dismayed, as if she wants to end the phone
call quickly...which she does.
Yes, and thanks to those ads,
we'll have it all paid off in
the next few weeks.
PANEL 64 - Allison hangs up the phone on its cradle, looking down at
the table. On the table are two pictures, the contents we cannot see
or are blurred.
PANEL 65 - POV from under the pictures up to Allison's face. Allison
picks up the pictures, with a saddened look.
PANEL 66 - POV from above, Allison buries her head in her hands, the
(VERY UNDETAILED) pictures before her.
PAGE 13 - INTERIOR - CARRIE'S KITCHEN - DAY
PANEL 66 - POV shot is the same as 65, but now we have an enraged
Carrie, both fist stubbornly down on the table. Carrie has removed
all her make-up, but still has her "hair." Her Father has assumed the
same position across from her, and the mother is gently sobbing on
one side of the table.
Well, I think it's about time we
PANEL 67 - Dad shouting at Carrie, from the left of Carrie over to
The fact is the I will not have
any of your faggot friends
turning you into the sissy boy
they want you to be!
If I so much as HEAR their queer
voices ANYWHERE around you
again, there'll be hell to pay
outta YOUR hide!
PANEL 68 - Reverse Angle. Carrie's shouting at Dad, from the right of
Dad. Mom sits in her spot sobbing and coughing quietly.
Isn't that just the problem, Dad?
It's MY problem to deal with,
not my FRIENDS, not YOURS. It's
PANEL 69 - Becky listens in from the cooridor leading into the
(off screen) And it's mine, too! If word ever
got out that I have a faggot for
PANEL 70 - Carrie gets realization, a cooler head, and an idea.
Then it gets out. Besides, it's
no longer your problem...
PAGE 14 - INTERIOR - CARRIE'S KITCHEN - DAY (CONT.)
PANEL 71 - Carrie spins about walking away from the fight. Dad is
reaching out to Carrie's shirt.
I'm moving out.
PANEL 72 - Carrie gets roughly pulled onto the top of the table. Dad
is lording over him, fist clenching Carrie's shoulder, pinning her
down. Mom has rised up is shock.
YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
PANEL 73 - Dad tosses Carrie one-armed into a wall, where she lands
with a thud. Mother is now racked with more sobs and coughs.
PANEL 74 - Dad is standing over Carrie. Carrie is slumped in a
sitting position on the floor, looking up at him defiantly. Becky
looks on from the cooridor.
Well, at least now I have good
reason to leave...
PANEL 75 - From the cooridor, looking out on the kitchen, a weary
Carrie walks down. Father is oblivious to Becky's presence, and
interested in only shouting at him. A tearful Mother has pulled up
You leave and you'll never see
us again. I MEAN IT.
If it means being away from you,
then it's worth it.
PANEL 76 - Over Carrie's shoulder to a very worried looking Becky and
Mother. Father has turned his back. Carrie is pleased to hear mother
Be careful out there, son....
PAGE 15 - INTERIOR - ALLISON'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING
PANEL 77 - Allison opens the door to a very PLAIN WOMAN. She is
dressed primarily in black, but has a gold cross necklace and brown
Hello, my sister. I've come to
enquire about your advertisement
for a roomate.
PANEL 78 - Allison invites her in.
Yes, please come in!
PANEL 79 - The plain woman examines her surroundings on the way to a
chair in front of a coffee table with a beautifully blooming set of
flowers on it.
What an ornate palace you have
here. Surely you have sampled
heartily from the Lord's bounty.
PANEL 80 - A someone confused Allison replies.
Well, yes. I'm a small-time
interior decorator...I figure
if my house looks bad, it's not
good for business.
PANEL 81 - The Plain Woman turns on Allison, looking deeply into her
soul. Allison is dazed, confused and comedically pained as she
realizes this is not the roomate for her.
But surely such baubles are here
to fill a truly empty void in
Tell me, Have you accepted Jesus
Christ as your Lord and savior?
PAGE 16 - INTERIOR - VICTORIA'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING
PANEL 82 - VICTORIA, a somewhat large black woman, with jet black
straight hair, is joyfully talking to Carrie and Becky, both sitting
on a very tacky couch. In fact, the entire house is very tacky. She
is dressed up as a very exaggerated version of Columbia from the
Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Of COURSE you can stay here,
sweetcheeks! Stay as long as you
It's about time you moved out of
that straight laced hellhole and
into this old drag's house.
PANEL 83 - Becky and Carrie stare at each other nervously.
Hell, we can have dress up
parties and makeovers and
slumber parties. It'll be
PANEL 84 - Victoria "fashionably" walks out the door with a cheecky
But I gotta go now, they're
having a one time showing of the
Rocky Horror Picture Show at
Chez Armand! And I'm gonna be a
PANEL 85 - Becky and Carrie give a worried look at an exiting
Just don't trash the house while
PANEL 86 - Becky and Carrie star at each other again, worried.
I think I'll be needing to find
a new apartment.
PANEL 87 - Becky reclines on the sofa as Carrie examines a hanging
crystal chime with a burning white candle underneath.
You won't get in trouble with
Dad for being with me, will you?
Nah, Marlene is covering for me
by telling Dad she's having a
sleep over. She'll just tell
Dad I'm in the bathroom or
PAGE 17 - INTERIOR - VICTORIA'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING
PANEL 88 - Carrie moves onto a small cup of powder.
You know, I really admire you
standing up to dad the way you
did. Mom does, too.
Lotta good that did. All my
stuff is at home and I've got
Oh, please, the Security Center
pays well, and you've got a roof
over your head.
PANEL 89 - Close up of Becky's mischevious grin. BECKY
As for your stuff, you leave
that to me.
PANEL 90 - Allison sits across from the PATRIOT WOMAN, a large strong
muscled woman with a Teamsters shirt on the front and a pin of the
American Flag on her collar. Allison looks uninterested in what she's
And that's how the Trilateral
Commission has hounded me for my
shoes over the past three years.
They NEED my DNA strands from
the toenails, since those
reproduce the best clones of
PANEL 91 - Allison looks up into the cieling.
Give me strength!
PAGE 18 - EXTERIOR - BEHIND CARRIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
PANEL 92 - It's dark and Becky is sticking out of her two story
window, speaking to KEVIN, a burly hunk of a boy who is swooning over
Becky in her nightie.
We are...are you?
Just take the boxes and deliver
them to the address I gave you.
PANEL 93 - Kevin points forward towards an open darkened windows.
PANEL 94 - The Entire Earl Rudder Middle School Football team
assembles together the bottom 1/3 of a ramp leading up to Carrie's
PANEL 95 - The middle 1/3.
PANEL 96 - The final 1/3 is completed and about twenty footballers
run up the ramp.
PANEL 97 - Twenty men run down with a HUGE load of boxes.
PANEL 98 - The ramp disassembles.
PAGE 19 - EXTERIOR - BEHIND CARRIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT (CONT.)
PANEL 99 - Becky leans out to talk to Kevin.
PANEL 100 - Kevin looks up with stars in his eyes.
As Quarterback for the Earl
Rudder Middle School football
team I declare that we are at
PANEL 101 - Becky herself is struck by the dreamy stars.
PAGE 20 (CONT.) - EXTERIOR - BEHIND CARRIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
PANEL 102 - The Patriot Woman has been replaced by a HIPPIE CHICK.
She's wearing unkempt bedraggled hair, a crystal on a necklace and
very dark shades (probably covering up her bloodshot eyes).
...it should all be really free
and unheavily cool. I mean that's
why I asked if the drugs would
PANEL 103 - The Hippie Chick has been replaced by the AIRHEAD. She's
obviously not all there, is wearing too much make up and not enough
personality. Too much jewelry and fingernails the length of small
...and when it didn't bother
Raoul, like, I told him that I'd
just be going to the mall for
another pair of shoes and, like,
he just freeeked! You know how
it is, boys just don't understand!
PANEL 104 - The Airhead ahs been replaced by a TREKKIE in full
Starfleet Regalia, Spock ears. she is also unbearably fat and
possibly even a bit sweaty.
I mean, if we DO understand the
Prime Directive, we simply
CANNOT get involved in the
internal affairs of primitive
PANEL 105 - The Trekkie has been replaced by HEIDI, a dominatrix in
leather with a cat-o-nine tails whip in her hand. she is sensuous,
beautiful and perhaps even a bit charming. But the collar with the
lock on it shatters the innocent look on her face.
...and my affairs are anything
but primitive. Pain and
pleasure, pleasure and pain...
they both dance forbidden
dances, slowly intertwining
their waltzes until both are
one. And they both grow in
PANEL 106 - The Dominatrix has been replaced by a Trucker Woman.
Typical un-feminine looking woman in flannel and ski-vest. Very
muscular and probably a bit unhygenic, too. The centerpiece is dead.
...that chunk of ice on the
compressor was as big as my
fist! Damn near was blockin' so
much of the pipe, that the air
hoses were chokin' on it. PANEL 107 - Allison looks up in disgust.
PAGE 21 - INTERIOR - VICTORIA'S HOUSE - VARIOUS LOCATIONS - NIGHT
PANEL 108 - Victoria puts a needle on a record.
SONG: LITTLE BLACK DRESS (runs inderneath all panels).[The script ends incomplete at this point]
[The Book of Xand]
[The Girl in the Mirror]
[The Long Road Home]
[Manpower]||[The Many Lives
Authority]|| [Voyage of the